|2-1/2 Cents Sunday, February 2, 2014|
WITHERSPOON PATH CHRONICLE
From the Friendliest Street in The Villages www.witherspoonpath.com
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann .
"You guys line up alphabetically by height. You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle." Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach.
Clemson recruit Ray Forsythe, who was ineligible as a freshman because of academic requirements: "I play football. I'm not trying to be a professor. The tests don't seem to make sense to me, measuring your brain on stuff I haven't been through in school."
Darrell Royal, Texas football coach, asked if the abnormal number of Longhorn injuries that season resulted from poor physical conditioning: "One player was lost because he broke his nose. How do you go about getting a nose in condition for football?"
Mike McCormack, coach of the hapless Baltimore Colts after the team's co-captain, offensive guard Robert Pratt, pulled a hamstring running onto the field for the coin toss against St. Louis: "I'm going to send the injured reserve players out for the toss next time."
Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."
Jim Finks, New Orleans Saints G.M., when asked after a loss what he thought of the refs: "I'm not allowed to comment on lousy officiating."
Lincoln Kennedy, Oakland Raiders tackle, on his decision not to vote: "I was going to write myself in, but I was afraid I'd get shot."
Jim Colletto, Purdue football coach and former assistant at Arizona State and Ohio State, on his 11-year-old son's reaction after he took the job with the Boilermakers: "He said: 'Gosh, Dad, that means we're not going to any more bowl games."
LaVell Edwards, BYU football coach and one of 14 children: They can't fire me because my family buys too many tickets."
Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, of his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings." "
After all these years, I finally get to put on the pads and go out and hit somebody.'' --Garylynn Boyd, a center for the Tampa Tempest in the new Women's Professional Football League.
Perhaps the most recognized football cartoon ever !!!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven, where St. Peter greets him and says: "Before I can let you enter I must ask you what you have done in your life that was particularly good."
The man racks his brains for a few minutes and then admits to St. Peter that he hasn't done anything particularly good in his life.
"Well," says St. Peter, "have you done anything particularly brave in your life?"
"Yes, I have," replies the man proudly.
St. Peter asks the man to give an account of his bravery.
So the man explains, "I was refereeing the Super Bowl game between Denver and Seattle. The score was 21-21 and there was only one more minute of play to go in the second half when I gave a holding penalty against Denver at the Seattle end."
"Yes," responded St. Peter, "I agree that was a real act of bravery. Can you perhaps tell me when this took place?"
"Certainly," the man replied, "about three minutes ago."
A lawyer is talking to an only child, whose parents are in the middle of a divorce.
He asks the child, if he would like to live with his father to which the child replies, "No, he beats me!"
The lawyer asks if the child would rather live with his mother and the child replies, "No, she beats me, too!"
The surprised lawyer asks the child where he would like to live, since both parents beat him, and the child replies, "I want to live with the Cincinnati Bengals they don't beat anyone!"
Okay, I ran out of Super Bowl jokes/cartoons: